Dear Comcast Support,
No, not you, the nice (and extremely patient) person on the phone with me today. I’m talking to the head customer support geeks — the people who allegedly design the process whereby support is rendered.
Thanks for wasting at least 15 minutes of my time on the phone today as I verified my name, address, account number and MAC address, then followed your inane flowchart-driven support process to check things that didn’t need checking. The only reason I was on the phone at all is that your robot IVR system yaks non-stop so much that it can’t even hear me when I ask to ‘reset my modem.’ That’s what I wanted. That’s what I said. Is that what happened? No. Instead, it responded with ‘let me get you to an agent.’ Great. Sure. Put Agent Smith on the phone. What the heck — maybe a human will be better than the IVR. I wish. Instead of all that verification nonsense, here is how the conversation should have gone after you called me back:
Good afternoon. This is Comcast Customer Support. Is this Mr. Wilkes?
Excellent. How can I help you today, Sir?
I’d like my modem reset, please.
Of course. I see that you have only one modem, so I need no further information. Would you like that reset signal sent now?
Very good. I have sent the signal. I will stay on the line until the modem resets. Just a moment. [pause] Everything looks good from our end. Will you try your service again please?
Seems to be working now, thank you.
Great. Is there anything else I can help you with?
All good here. Thanks!
Thank you for being a Comcast customer Mr. Wilkes. Have a great evening.
That would have been a pleasant customer experience.
Now that I think about it, though, even the above dialog, stellar though it would have been, is sub-par. This is 2016. You know… the IoT year when your refrigerator can tell your thermostat that the house is too hot? Yeah, that year. As my ISP, you have an always-on connection right into my house. You can tell if your equipment is working or not. I know. You tell me every time I get on the phone with you. So how this whole thing should have gone is… I open my email this evening to find this:
Dear Mr. Wilkes,
We noticed that your internet connection was down for more than a few minutes, so we sent a reset signal to your modem. Our diagnostics indicate that service has been restored now. I hope that our proactive service meets with your approval. Please let us know if you need follow-up assistance.
Comcast Customer Support
That right there — that would be 2016 tech support from a company that I pay serious coin to every month for exactly one thing… Internet service.